David is in a dark place

Psalm 143

Verse 1-6, “Lord, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy; in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief.  Do not bring your servant into judgment, for no one living is righteous before you.  The enemy pursues me, he crushes me to the ground; he makes me dwell in the darkness like those long dead.  So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed. I remember the days of long ago;  I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done.  I spread out my hands to you; I thirst for you like a parched land.”

Verses 1-6 set the stage for so many who have lost hope or have never understood the love of Jesus Christ.  I experienced a gifted man who lost his title, he was my bosses boss, and was one of the better salespersons I met.   Like David after losing the trust of the person he answered to, he went into a very dark place for a while.  The good news is like David he had to recall God’s mercy shown to him and like David I hope he remembers; no one alive is righteous in God’s sight.

I have seen this played out in my life, in families, in churches, in business, and in government, its name is jealousy or fear of the loss of position.  And instead of being  in harmony you have division and lack of trust.  David was in a very dark place; he was spiritually and physically weak or as my mother often said, I’m spent.  When a life is void of God’s love or when one forgets how much they have been forgiven, it is an easy place to find oneself, being the victim or the judge.

Do you have a place to go back to in your mind, a place where you recall all that God has done and will you sit still in a room and reflect on His faithfulness?  When we find ourselves in a time of deep depression we need God, and we need Him to answer quick.  Often God speaks to us in a very direct way, and sometimes he uses a person.  

In my darkest hour of my marriage, I was living apart from my wife and little girl, and my friend Ronnie had a nice big house and took mercy on me and allowed me to stay at his home.  One day I did or said something, and Ronnie who was not at that time a church person, looked at me and said I thought you were a Christian, that sure does not sound like one.  I had no defense, he was 100 % correct, I was a hypocrite for I was not acting like who I was.  I heard that many in the church we attended thought I was the lowest of scum, but let me tell you about Micky Johnson and how he also was sent at the right time to give me hope.  Micky called me one day and said this; Bob, I do not agree with one thing you are doing, but I must tell you I love you and am here anytime you want to talk.  Like Ronnie, I had no defense for love, for I did not like myself at this stage of life.

What I saw in my wife was Jesus love, it was not earned, for I deserved her wrath, but I got unconditional love.  Today I have looked back on my life and seen how God will restore a mess like me.  Like David I can tell all who will read or listen that I am a saint who sins, but when I do, I run to God for mercy and grace, for all we need, is His grace.

From the Back Porch,

Bob Rice’