Hebrews 12:5-11
I’ve yet to hear anyone say, “what I liked most about my dad
was he whipped me often.” Or my
dad was a great disciplinarian, and we lived in fear of him, and that’s how I
want my children to live, in fear of me.
The writer of Hebrews asked this question; “For
what son is there whom his father does not discipline?” And the answer is we live in
a culture where over 50 percent of the homes do not have a father living in the
home, so half of the sons and daughters have not experienced a father’s
discipline. And the question must
be asked, has that had a positive or negative affect on our society? Could a case be made that the void of a
dad in the home, who disciplines his children in love, has brought us to the
place of fear, anger, and frustration?
What can we learn about discipline from God’s point of view, and is
there any other view that counts?
On a personal note: My daughter told me not that long ago
that what helped her with my lack of nurturing was this memory; “Natalie, I
have no doubt I’ve made many mistakes in rearing you, but you must understand
that this is a first for me; being a dad to a teenager, is at best trial and error, but I love
you and my hearts desire is to guide you into becoming a great adult.” Looking back that was a cop out, I did
have a guide on how to raise children, it is spelled out in the Bible. Do not be fooled by the fact that
sometimes it is the strongest Christians whose children turn out to be
failures. Being a pastor or head
of a Christian movement does not have one thing to do with being a good
parent. In fact, we have many
examples in the Bible of men who were used greatly by God but were terrible
dads. Examples like King David,
Eli the priest, and Samuel, show us that none of these men disciplined their
sons in love.
So if you are a young dad and you want a game plan on how to
do it right, try doing it by the plan in the manufacturers handbook, and it
comes with a guarantee; your child will understand how greatly they are
loved. And the majority of
daughters will look for a person who is like their dad, and your sons will want
to be like their dad.
The plan:
It is your duty as a dad to teach your children about
the things of God, in
your home and as you live life. You can be like Adam and go passive and
pass this off to someone at church, but then it becomes something we do outside
the home, but it’s not to live by, it’s just a religious act, not really
important. (Deuteronomy 6:7)
To train your child is so important, and you must
remember that each child’s training is designed around their personality. Some
key areas are prayer, and keeping records of God’s answers, of examples in the
nature of the faithfulness of God, and both good and bad examples in life that
can be used to train up your child.
It is also important to understand that (Proverbs 22:6) is not a
promise, the key word is “train” your child.
To be a provider for your children is not a call to
give them all the material things they want. It is of great
importance to provide a home that is fun and full of love and communication. You must set an example of loving
your wife, and putting her needs before your desires and toys. (2 Corinthians 12:14)
To be a Nurturer to your children, in your discipline
be tender but firm; remember your goal is to grow and develop them into godly
adults who are mighty warriors. (Ephesians 6:4)
To teach respect for their mother, for other adults,
and for yourself is your job as a dad. Always show respect to each other in
the home, and dad you and your wife have to be on the same page on this. Respect your children by being a good
listener and showing them how God respects us by giving us the freedom to fail
and be successful. That both failure
and success can build character and wisdom, the qualities that will make them
distinctive in the kingdom of God.
(1 Timothy 3:4)
The best example of teaching is by example; live with
your wife in a loving way so that your children will know what is counterfeit
and what is the real thing. ((Titus 2:4)
Now in keeping with the Scriptures above, remember that discipline
is not a bad thing, it is never enjoyable at the time, but recall what God has
to say in verse six; “For the Lord disciplines the
one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.”
Does God use timeout when He disciplines His children? Yes, sometime He does, and at times He
will use the rod, and it comes in many forms.
Form the Back Porch,
Bob Rice
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