Defining a Friend

 

Philemon 19-22

How well do you know the people you call friends?  I’ve shared in the past that I believe the word friend is over used almost as much as the word love.  If I came from another planet and heard all the uses of the word love, I might define it as; they like that thing or person a lot, but I would not have any real understanding of what love is.  Love is an action, love always has an object of its love, and love never puts self above the object of that love.  Friend is also used often in our culture in the same manner, what is your definition of a friend?  How many of the people you call friend would you call if you needed money, or your mate was injured in an accident, or you just needed to share about a great thing that had just happened to you; those are your friends.  Everyone else is an acquaintance, some have been in your life for years, and others have just shown up.

Philemon is more than an acquaintance to Paul, it may have been a long time since they last spoke are saw one another, but Paul is sharing in this very private letter things you would only say to a friend.  Beginning in verse 19, “I Paul am writing this with my own hand. (I believe Paul is implying this is too personal and important to trust to anyone else) I will pay it back – not to mention that you owe me your very self.  I do wish, brother, that I may have some benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ.  Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I ask.  And one thing more: Prepare a guest room for me, because I hope to be restored to you in answer to your prayers.”

Often in our culture we are obtuse in our understanding of words and especially when it comes to relationship, and men have a greater degree of difficultly than do women.  After living in the Houston area for over twenty years, Jan and I have many people who are dear to us, many we enjoy hearing from and wish would feel the freedom to come and spend time with us in our little home in the Texas hill country.  I often wonder how we get so caught up in the busyness of life that we do not place value on those relationships?  Could it be they were just relationships, very good relationships but they never moved to the place of being a friend?

What kind of friend am I to Jesus, has our relationship moved to friendship?  This is what Jesus has said about that subject: “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.  ¹³“Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.  ¹⁴“You are My friends if you do what I command you.  ¹⁵“No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.”  (John 15:12-15)  Have you prepared a guest room in you heart for Jesus to come and stay with you?

I read this poem, and it spoke volumes to me:

 I heard the call, ‘Come follow,’

That was all.

Earth’s joys grew dim,

My soul went after Him,

I rose and followed ---

That was all.

Will you not follow

If you hear His call?  ------------- Leonard Ravenhill

From the Back Porch,

Bob Rice