Husbands Love your Wives

Colossians 3:19

 

 “Husbands love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.”

I am a recovering insecure husband who out of fear often was not kind and tender with my bride.  After we both entered into a relationship with Christ, and as Jan matured she often would say; you’re being harsh with me.  She wanted me to treat her tender, and I could not understand how to do that.  The more I read Scriptures like Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” and Ephesians 5:28, “In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”  It became apparent I was the problem, not liking my behavior I realized I needed to go back to the one who designed me and come to an understanding of His purpose and intention for my design.

Now I was not only insecure but also I was a coward and especially when it came to God.  As I explored my actions, it’s amazing how it all went back to my need to know, that I was loved by my dad.  Sure I did not like my small statue or my big ears, it was not fun being called flaps in middle school and high school.  Often, I would dream of being six feet tall and a running back and the hero, but I could not tell anyone, not even God.  You see my dad loved, and I do mean loved football, and I just did not have an earth suit that worked with football, so I was sure dad loved football more than me.  Yes dad’s, we can sure allow the enemy to mess-up our kids when we forget to share this truth; their Creator made them special and unique, and they are greatly loved by God and you.

The more I tried to fix me, the worse things seemed to get.  Then as I got into the Scriptures and allowed the Spirit of God to open my mind, the Lord began to send men to mentor me.  And as I confessed my need to show kindness all the time in all situations, God took me back to what He had done for me in sending Christ; a love I could not understand but accepted by faith.  One day as I read Psalm 139:13-16, I began to realize I was special to God, and as one of my friends often said, He does not make junk, so ask Him for understanding as you read this Psalm.  “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.  My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”

Now a key Scripture in my process of being kind and tender with my bride was

1 Peter 3:7, “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”  That was a wake-up call; can you imagine that your actions are the reason God is not answering your prayers?

From the Back Porch,

Bob Rice