Colossians 3:18
“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”
If you would travel to Saudi Arabia on first blush, it might look like wives submitting to their husband. And if you stay more than one day it would be clear they have no choice. They do not choose to leave the house without a male escort of the same family, they are not to drive a car, and many other rules are forced on them, that’s not submitting, and that is not husbands love your wife and do not be harsh with them. Now the ruling class plays by those rules at home but once they are on their jet to go to Europe or the United States often the rules change, and it’s when in Rome do as the Romans do.
Now that is true in most Middle East countries, but what about the west, what about the United States of America, do we have a culture of submission? The answer is yes; the husband has learned how to submit, and that is not what this Scripture teaches. But for over thirty years if you have watched T.V., or gone to the movies, looked at the Hollywood crowd, you are immersed in the emasculation of men. This quote from a woman looking for help is what a culture of emasculation has given us.
“Here is my problem. I'm so bored and frustrated with this man. He is so beta, he won't make any decisions or plans or take responsibility for anything. I find myself longing for an alpha man. We live in a pretty traditional area and are surrounded by traditional relationships but at our home, I am the one who wears the pants, and I hate it. I don't want to be the one who makes all the decisions; it's exhausting! I want a man to lead me.”
One does not want to build doctrine on a single verse of the Scriptures, so where else are wives told to submit to their husbands? Turn to Ephesians 5:22-24, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”
A key that is often overlooked is God calls the husband to love his wife, but the wife is instructed to respect her husband. In 1 Peter 3:1-4, “Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
The World and the Church both have programs and literature on how to have a great marriage, but the only thing I’ve found is giving up on fixing your mate, and draw a circle around yourself and tell the Lord you will apply His Word to you. Now this will not be easy, it is not a quick fix, but our marriage of 51 years is good and it is getting gooder. Now I know it should be better, but it seems like the best way to explain what has happened, since I have been willing to work on me and listen to the author of Love.
From the Back Porch,
Bob Rice
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