A debt I could not pay

Romans 8:12-17

Sometime a hymn comes to mind as I’m beginning to write, today is one such time; “I had debt I could not pay, He paid the debt He did not owe, I needed someone, to wash my sins away.  And now I sing a brand new song, “Amazing grace” all day long, Christ Jesus paid the debt.  That I could never pay.” 

Growing up poor may have shaped my thinking about debt, having a mother that was sick and a dad who worked in a job that put food on the table but also required him to work a second job to pay our bills had an impact on my understanding of being a debtor.  As a child, Proverbs 22:7 spoke into my life, and this is what it states; “The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is the slave of the lender.”  My goal was to obey that teaching not to be rich, no, and not to be slave of the lender.

Now that is a great goal but it is going to backfire on me, when I’m confronted with a debt I could not pay.  Maybe, unlike you, I understood from a very early age that I was a rebel, now not one who is in your face, no I was deceptive and broke the rules of my parents in ways I hoped would never be found out.  I also understood that was what the Bible refers to as sin, so I was not surprised when I read, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”  I was “lord of the ring” or as the song goes “I did it my way.” 

The older I got the more toys were required, I was not happy with what I had and always wanted better stuff, and I wanted the fear of the unknown to go away, I had a need for peace, for contentment, but where could one find such things in this life?  As I have shared with you more than once, my barber, Bob, began to introduce me to the Jesus I knew a lot about, but had no personal relationship with.  One night around 10:00, I opened a hotel Bible and read, believed, and acted on Romans 10:9-10, and entered into Christ and He entered into me.

It is foolish to think that as a new convert I can pay back a debt that God has clearly said cannot be paid by me.  I began to first attend any church revival within 30 miles of my home, I joined a Baptist church and volunteered to work with the youth, became a teacher and had the gift of growing the youth group.  Lead in the “Lay Renewal Missions” and God was blessing, and did I tell you I was soon asked to be a deacon in my church.  Much of this was feeding my flesh, and yet I had no understanding of flesh and Spirit, I had not been under any mentor, and had not taken time to sit under a teacher’s authority.

If only my zeal would have been to learn the Scripture and not to try paying a debt I could not pay.  If only I had ask the Helper to teach me Romans 8:12-15, “So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”

I came to realize that fear was and had always been my close companion, I was allowing emotions to drive me and not the Spirit of God.  I had to learn; God is good, I need help and Jesus has promised each of us in Christ that He would ask the Father and our loving Father would send us a Helper, John 14:15-17.

Pay close attention to Romans 8:16-17, “The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.”  “I had debt I could not pay, He paid the debt He did not owe. I needed someone, to wash my sins away.”

From the Back Porch,

Bob Rice