Help with Listening

Isaiah 51:1

               “Listen to me, you who pursue righteousness, you who seek the LORD: look to the rock from which you were hewn, and to the quarry from which you were dug.” (Isaiah 51:1 ESV)

Todd Smith, in his book “Little things Matter” lists ten things that make you a better listener, and my skills and maybe yours are in need of help when it comes to being good listeners.  Todd tells us about what to look for to improve our listening skills: 1) Make Eye Contact—The first step in being a good listener is to make eye contact with people while they are talking.  2) Be Present—I must admit I have been accused at times by my wife of not being present when she is talking even though I am looking into her eyes. These are times when my mind is thinking about something other than what she is talking about.  3) Give NO Sign that You are Ready to Respond—When you are listening, don’t give any clues that you are ready to respond. Don’t point your finger and don’t open your mouth. When I talk to people and I see that they are waiting on pins and needles to respond, I know they are no longer listening because they are more concerned with how they are going to respond than with listening to what I have to say.  I need to put a star by this; it is one of my worst habits.  4) Wait Two Seconds to Respond—During a conversation, wait two seconds after the person finishes speaking to make sure they have finished their thought. 5) Care About What Is Being Said—This is where my dad stands out from most people. When he listens he really cares about what is being said, even if it’s a subject that doesn’t interest him. He tells me that this is his way of showing people that what they say is important and that they are valuable individuals.  6) Listen For The Message Within The Message—Another one of my dad’s skills is to listen for the message within the message. By listening intently, he is able to grasp the topic and move more effectively into the conversation. 7) Respond By Asking Questions—When you ask people questions during a conversation, you show a sincere interest in the topic. My dad says that most people operate at “the feeling level”, rather than “the thinking level”, even if they are good thinkers. I agree! My Dad’s favorite question is to ask how they FEEL about the subject they have raised.

In my desire to finish strong, it has become clear that being a good listener is essential, for it is clear in Isaiah 51:1, these folks were pursuing righteousness and seeking the LORD, if that was not true Isaiah would not have said so.  Listening is an acquired habit, it takes practice, and it also puts the one speaking as the more important.  1) So how does one make eye contact with God?  If you are a follower of Christ, a key belief is: “Christ in me the hope of Glory” found in Colossians 1:27b.  So when you look into the mirror are you not making contact with God, as you fellowship with other believers are you not making contact with Christ?  2) Being present is so important as a listener, as one who reads the Bible, or who goes to church.  It requires more than reading or sitting in a pew, it requires setting your mind and heart on listening and acting on what is being read, or heard. 3 & 4) How rude it is to interrupt a person before they are finished and yet often we do this with the Holy Spirit, so it seems only wise to wait two seconds before responding to what God is saying to you.  5) Do you care about what God is saying to you, and remember God had to speak through a donkey to get a man’s ear.  6) Often I’ve missed the message inside the message; we should be quick to ask the Holy Spirit to help us understand what is God’s will for us.  7) And last, but of the greatest importance is ask questions, seek answers, for Jesus did not leave us without a Helper, One who will lead us into all truth.

From the Back Porch,

Bob Rice