From a Gardener’s View

From a Gardener’s View

Have you ever looked at life in the way you look at your garden?  If not, will you join me on trip of life from a Gardener’s vision on one aspect of life?  When one begins to entertain the thought of marriage, it’s much like planning a garden.  So being a follower of Jesus Christ let me define marriage as God has: it is a relationship of a man and a woman.  In Genesis 2:24, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”  It is absurdity to use the word marriage in any other context.

In preparing to start a garden or thinking about a garden does not make one a Gardener, no more than leaving your father and mother makes you a husband, but it is a first step.  The goal of gardening is not to spend time and money working a plot of land, but to produce a product that you can eat and share with others.  The same is true with marriage, it is to produce a product called marriage, where you as the husband cares for and provides a home that is secure, filled with love, kindness, and patience.  God has said this to the husband in Ephesians 5:25; “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”  You may find it of interest, God never told the wife to love her husband, just to respect and honor him.  Men often make this a hard task for our wives.

The young want-a-be gardener and the want-a-be husband have much in common; both need to invest in some soul searching for the task is not easy.    Help is needed from many sources, and a course on how to prepare the soil is of great value.  A wise person will make sure they have the resources to begin a successful process.   As both a successful gardener, and husband of one wife for 48+ years I came across this tidbit in the book “Grow Vegetables” by Alan Buckingham and Jo Whittingham.  “The history of vegetable gardening is littered with unkempt, overgrown plots started with the best of intentions, but abandoned when the time to maintain then can’t be found.”  How easy it would be to say the history of marriage is littered with broken promises, broken covenants all started with the best of intentions, but abandoned when the time to maintain them can’t be found. 

Both a garden and marriage require building in an appropriate location where the sun is in your garden and the Son is in your marriage.  For only Jesus can shine the proper light to produce the end result you are hoping for.  Then comes building the soil, for as you enrich the soils so are you building the future.  The gardener is aware that conventional gardening practices will deplete the soil, so he begins a long-range outlook on soil preparation, by adding compost and nutrients to enrich the soil.  The young husband needs to be aware that conventional marriage has a failure rate of over 50% in and out of the church, and like the gardener, must invest time and money to have rich soil where his marriage will flourish.

You may not have given thought to weeds, they are sneaky and I mean devious little rascals in your garden and in your marriage.  This is shocking about weeds and it is taken from “Grow Vegetables” page 62; “Here’s an alarming statistic: it’s estimated that in every square yard of soil, there are probably 100,000 seeds.  This is why regular weeding is inescapable.  Resign yourself to the fact that it’s going to be a constant battle.  Weeds are invasive and competitive – they drink the water and absorb the nutrients you want your vegetables to have; they crowd them for space, hogging the light.  And they can be home to all kinds of pests and diseases.”  Both gardens and marriages have lots of weeds that want to invade your space, to steal the light you need to flourish; it could be said we live in a culture of weeds.  A few examples of weeds you can bring into your marriage are secrets, bad debt, untruths, past relationships, promiscuity, not leaving mother and dad, and the list keeps going, all are the culture of weeds. 

Sometimes both gardeners and husbands do not take the time to remove the weeds by the roots, we just put off the part that is seen and our marriage and garden look great, but the root cause of the problem is very much alive under the surface.  As both gardener and husband, I’ve come to this summation; God tells the truth, “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.”  (Galatians 6:7 ESV)  The world’s model is to remove the top of the weed and not to do the hard work of removing the roots.  Many a garden and marriage have been destroyed for lack of the investment of time and resources, for both gardening and marriage require a man’s investment of time and resources, a lot of hard work before you will see any positive results. 

My prayer for your garden and marriage is you work to remove the weeds root system, which will choke the life out of both; in marriage it’s often deeply rooted anger and fear, which produces a root of distrust.  In your garden those roots will steal the moisture and nutrients your plants must have, they have to be dealt with.

From the Back Porch,

Bob Rice