Monday, March 19, 2012

Two emotions that can change a person’s life

 
1 John 3:13-18

“Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.” (1John 3:18)

I do not know of anything that has a stronger hold on us than Love and Hate, these two emotions can change a person’s life.  If we examine the word love in our culture it is very confusing; because it is used to express what one likes, but I do not believe anyone who says, “I love those shoes” or “I love that golf course” is referring to a deep lasting relationship with that object.  But the word love is used so often that by doing so we have lost much of it’s meaning.  In marriage it often comes across in this manner, I will love you if, or I will love you because, and both have conditions tie to them. 

I often acknowledge that as a husband to Jan, and a dad, to Natalie, I am brain dead to the needs of a woman.  Books have been written to support such beliefs; “Men are from Mars, and Women from Venus” and it is true that we need to understand what our mate understands love is.  Anabel Gillham who is now in heaven has a much better understanding of this truth than when she penned these words, but they have been very helpful to me as a husband and dad.
1) Listening to me.
2) Taking my problems seriously.
3) Communicating more openly with me.
4) Noticing me more-not just when he wants sex.
5) Saying "thank you" for the little things I do.
6) Being interested in my life, at least acting like he's interested.
7) Showing affection to me when other people are around.
8) Sharing his goals and values with me.
9) Remembering me with little gifts.
10) Taking me out without the kids.
11) Including me in the things he does.
12) Trying to understand me, and not losing his temper while I try to
       explain my feelings.
13) Being more tender to me, using kind and tender words.

That is Annabel’s short list, and she taught these concepts to Bill, her husband. 

I’ve had many-bought lessons on the art of loving and being loved, and with full confidence I can tell my brothers do this and you will see a change in your wife, in your family, and in yourself.  But I also learned this by sitting at the feet of Bill, that God is love.  We were created by God to be loved unconditionally and only God loves unconditionally, therefore each of us needs God, and only God can love through us.

Hate has no understanding of love; hate destroys, hate kills, and the Bible speaks in this way, that hate will attack the physical body of the person who has hate living in them.  I believe the verse in 1 John 3:18 is talking about formalism, and it seems clear to me that it is a big part of our culture.  When it comes to our culture, this letter to Timothy sums up what I’m seeing: 2 Tim 3:1-5, “But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God - having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.” (NIV)

Both love and hate have one thing in common, they both have an action, words or talk may have no action.  When love is demonstrated it has the ability to change a child, a family, a marriage, a nation, but when hate is demonstrated and it is often demonstrated in religion, it kills.  It was hate founded in religion that killed Jesus, but God demonstrated his love in this way; “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)  Love is always shown by action, words are often empty.

From the Back Porch,

Bob Rice

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