1 John 3:13-18
“Little children, let us not love in word or talk but
in deed and in truth.” (1John 3:18)
I do not know of anything that has a stronger hold on us
than Love and Hate, these two emotions can change a person’s life. If we examine the word love in our
culture it is very confusing; because it is used to express what one likes, but
I do not believe anyone who says, “I love those shoes” or “I love that golf
course” is referring to a deep lasting relationship with that object. But the word love is used so often that
by doing so we have lost much of it’s meaning. In marriage it often comes across in this manner, I will
love you if, or I will love you because, and both have conditions tie to
them.
I often acknowledge that as a husband to Jan, and a dad, to
Natalie, I am brain dead to the needs of a woman. Books have been written to support such beliefs; “Men are
from Mars, and Women from Venus” and it is true that we need to understand what
our mate understands love is.
Anabel Gillham who is now in heaven has a much better understanding of
this truth than when she penned these words, but they have been very helpful to
me as a husband and dad.
1) Listening to me.
2) Taking my problems seriously.
3) Communicating more openly with me.
4) Noticing me more-not just when he wants sex.
5) Saying "thank you" for the little things
I do.
6) Being interested in my life, at least acting like
he's interested.
7) Showing affection to me when other people are
around.
8) Sharing his goals and values with me.
9) Remembering me with little gifts.
10) Taking me out without the kids.
11) Including me in the things he does.
12) Trying to understand me, and not losing his temper
while I try to
explain my feelings.
13) Being more tender to me, using kind and tender
words.
That is Annabel’s short list, and she taught these concepts
to Bill, her husband.
I’ve had many-bought lessons on the art of loving and being
loved, and with full confidence I can tell my brothers do this and you will see
a change in your wife, in your family, and in yourself. But I also learned this by sitting at
the feet of Bill, that God is love.
We were created by God to be loved unconditionally and only God loves
unconditionally, therefore each of us needs God, and only God can love through
us.
Hate
has no understanding of love; hate destroys, hate kills, and the Bible speaks
in this way, that hate will attack the physical body of the person who has hate
living in them. I believe the
verse in 1 John 3:18 is talking about formalism, and it seems clear to me that
it is a big part of our culture.
When it comes to our culture, this letter to Timothy sums up what I’m
seeing: 2 Tim 3:1-5, “But mark this: There will be
terrible times in the last days. People
will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive,
disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving,
slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous,
rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God - having a form
of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.” (NIV)
Both love and hate have one thing in common, they both have
an action, words or talk may have no action. When love is demonstrated it has the ability to change a
child, a family, a marriage, a nation, but when hate is demonstrated and it is
often demonstrated in religion, it kills.
It was hate founded in religion that killed Jesus, but God demonstrated
his love in this way; “But God shows his love
for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans
5:8) Love is always shown by
action, words are often empty.
From the Back Porch,
Bob Rice
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