Submit are you kidding?

Ephesians 5:22-33

Early in my work life I worked with Joe Williams; Joe was not a Christian but was a friend and a person who knew how to get his needs met.  One of his favorite quotes was “apathy and ignorance are two things you have no ability to change.”  I must say that in my forty years in sales that quote from Joe seemed to hold true; a person who is apathetic takes little interest in anything, and if they are both ignorant, lacking knowledge and apathetic, you are wise to put your efforts somewhere else.  What if one of those two hold true in marriage, what if the wife or the husband is ignorant of the meaning of the word “submit”?

How does the dictionary define the word submit; “to give in to somebody’s authority, control, or demands, to agree to undergo something.”   Has God said anything on the subject other than instructing wives to submit to their own husbands?  If He has spoken, are you apathetic and ignorant to what God has said?  In James 4:7, we are instructed to “Submit yourselves, then to God.”  It is clear to anyone who studies the Scriptures that Jesus was in submission to his Father, even to the point of death on a cross.

We see submission in all aspects of life; the talking heads on TV that may or may not believe what they are instructed to say.   The ambassador of any nation does and says what his leaders have told him to say and do.  If you desire to have employment you do or say what your owner or boss wants said or done.  So why does the hair on the neck of so many women seem to stand up at the Lord’s command found in Ephesians 5:22?  It could be lack of knowledge, that’s ignorance!  It could be that they are apathetic to study the Scriptures to find the truth, and it could be that they have seen men who were ignorant of the Scriptures and thought it was in someway making them the boss over his wife, he should read 1Peter 3:7.

If you read clearly, it is asking the wife to honor her husband so that the lost world will have a picture of the relationship of Christ and His church.  Husbands, the Lord gives you clear instructions, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,” (Ephesians 5:25, 26,) Early in my marriage I totally missed what God was saying and treated my wife as if she was my property, not out of ignorance or apathy, but because I was a very insecure man, who knew that if she put two + two together she would leave.  It took years for me to grasp my role was to love Jan, but God who is patient sent me godly men like Johnny Anderson, and Carroll Ray Jr. to guide me to the truth in Scripture, that love will push out fear and insecurity.  Love leaves no room for fear or insecurity! The more I understood God’s love for me, the greater I was able to trust Him, to let Him love Jan in and through me.

This is what I learned, Jan was very tender and could easily be hurt, and my actions were not based on love for her, and was making a gulf between us.  I also saw in Jan, a person who believed God told the truth and she submitted to His authority and though I was not due respect, she gave respect.  She did this because her Father and her Lord Jesus Christ told her to, she trusted God to awake her ignorant husband to be her head, and not her boss.

It has been my experience that the number of years spent living together adds very little to marriage unless the marriage is build on the husband loving his wife and learning not to be harsh with her, and the wife showing him respect that God knows he needs.  Colossians 3:18,19 are very clear on this subject.  For years I was looking for the loophole, some examples are, “do I have to love Jan if she gets fat, do I have to love Jan if she is in a car wreck and can no longer fulfill her role as my wife.” The only answer God gives is; “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.”  It is my experience that marriage is hard work, and I am a slow learner, but God is still at work in our marriage.  I often look at the sign on my back porch, I got it from a dear friend, Jack Archer, one of my first mentors, and it reads; “Smile you rascal, God knows all about you and loves you anyway.”

From the Back Porch,

Bob Rice