Obedience - Children

Colossians 3:20-21

“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.  Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” There are two things I have found to be tough in my life, marriage, and parenting.  Jan and I taught young couples for years, and most had two or more children and would tell us only having one child did not qualify us as parents.  We would always agree the more children, the greater the challenge in being the parent each child needs.  As I stated yesterday, it does not require a village to raise a child, but God’s design is a mother and dad. 

I am going to first look at verse 21 and will return to verse 20, “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”  A dad’s role in the home is so essential; it has no replacement you are indispensable in your child’s life; that is if you show up and do as God has instructed you.

To state my point of view, I looked for someone more qualified, and Dr. Popenoe sure has the title.  He is Professor of Sociology at Rutgers University and Co-Director of the National Marriage Project. 

“One of the most vital aspects of a dad's contribution to the lives of his kids lies precisely in what Dr. Popenoe calls his "significantly different parenting style." Men and women are different. As a result mothers and fathers parent their children differently.

Dads, for instance, love their children "more dangerously." That's because they play "rougher" and are more likely to encourage risk-taking. They provide kids with a broader diversity of social experiences. They also introduce them to a wider variety of methods of dealing with life. They tend to stress rules, justice, fairness, and duty in discipline. In this way, they teach children the objectivity and consequences of right and wrong. They give kids insight into the world of men. They prepare them for the challenges of life and demonstrate by example the meaning of respect between the sexes. In connection with this last point, research indicates that a married father is substantially less likely to abuse his wife or children than men in any other category.”

Returning to verse 20, have you not been taught “Obedience brings blessing” and what does obedience look like? Is it not acting on what you are told at that time, and all else falls short of compliance?  Obedience is an act of the “Will” and with that choice comes blessing.  Now the real benefit comes later in life, when the children who have received discipline in obedience from their parents, will find it less difficult to obey God.

From the Back Porch,

Bob Rice

Husbands Love your Wives

Colossians 3:19

 

 “Husbands love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.”

I am a recovering insecure husband who out of fear often was not kind and tender with my bride.  After we both entered into a relationship with Christ, and as Jan matured she often would say; you’re being harsh with me.  She wanted me to treat her tender, and I could not understand how to do that.  The more I read Scriptures like Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” and Ephesians 5:28, “In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”  It became apparent I was the problem, not liking my behavior I realized I needed to go back to the one who designed me and come to an understanding of His purpose and intention for my design.

Now I was not only insecure but also I was a coward and especially when it came to God.  As I explored my actions, it’s amazing how it all went back to my need to know, that I was loved by my dad.  Sure I did not like my small statue or my big ears, it was not fun being called flaps in middle school and high school.  Often, I would dream of being six feet tall and a running back and the hero, but I could not tell anyone, not even God.  You see my dad loved, and I do mean loved football, and I just did not have an earth suit that worked with football, so I was sure dad loved football more than me.  Yes dad’s, we can sure allow the enemy to mess-up our kids when we forget to share this truth; their Creator made them special and unique, and they are greatly loved by God and you.

The more I tried to fix me, the worse things seemed to get.  Then as I got into the Scriptures and allowed the Spirit of God to open my mind, the Lord began to send men to mentor me.  And as I confessed my need to show kindness all the time in all situations, God took me back to what He had done for me in sending Christ; a love I could not understand but accepted by faith.  One day as I read Psalm 139:13-16, I began to realize I was special to God, and as one of my friends often said, He does not make junk, so ask Him for understanding as you read this Psalm.  “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.  My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”

Now a key Scripture in my process of being kind and tender with my bride was

1 Peter 3:7, “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”  That was a wake-up call; can you imagine that your actions are the reason God is not answering your prayers?

From the Back Porch,

Bob Rice

God's message to Wives & Husbands

Colossians 3:18

 “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”

If you would travel to Saudi Arabia on first blush, it might look like wives submitting to their husband.  And if you stay more than one day it would be clear they have no choice.  They do not choose to leave the house without a male escort of the same family, they are not to drive a car, and many other rules are forced on them, that’s not submitting, and that is not husbands love your wife and do not be harsh with them.  Now the ruling class plays by those rules at home but once they are on their jet to go to Europe or the United States often the rules change, and it’s when in Rome do as the Romans do.

Now that is true in most Middle East countries, but what about the west, what about the United States of America, do we have a culture of submission?   The answer is yes; the husband has learned how to submit, and that is not what this Scripture teaches.  But for over thirty years if you have watched T.V., or gone to the movies, looked at the Hollywood crowd, you are immersed in the emasculation of men.  This quote from a woman looking for help is what a culture of emasculation has given us.

“Here is my problem. I'm so bored and frustrated with this man. He is so beta, he won't make any decisions or plans or take responsibility for anything. I find myself longing for an alpha man. We live in a pretty traditional area and are surrounded by traditional relationships but at our home, I am the one who wears the pants, and I hate it. I don't want to be the one who makes all the decisions; it's exhausting! I want a man to lead me.”

One does not want to build doctrine on a single verse of the Scriptures, so where else are wives told to submit to their husbands?  Turn to Ephesians 5:22-24, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”

A key that is often overlooked is God calls the husband to love his wife, but the wife is instructed to respect her husband.  In 1 Peter 3:1-4, “Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”

The World and the Church both have programs and literature on how to have a great marriage, but the only thing I’ve found is giving up on fixing your mate, and draw a circle around yourself and tell the Lord you will apply His Word to you.  Now this will not be easy, it is not a quick fix, but our marriage of 51 years is  good and it is getting gooder.  Now I know it should be better, but it seems like the best way to explain what has happened, since I have been willing to work on me and listen to the author of Love.

From the Back Porch,

Bob Rice

Search and find the Author of Love.

 Colossians 3:14-17

“And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

If a person wants the secret to this life, they would be wise to explore these three verses.  They begin with “and above all these put on love, ” and that should generate in one's mind questions.  Questions like how does one put on love, what is love, for in our culture it is the most over used word and it is very confusing, what is its real meaning?  I have said, and so have you, I love that, and it may be a car, a color, a hot dog, a sport, a person, and the list keeps going and going.  Then we hear a person say I love God, and soon after the same person will say I love that dress, so it is confusing, how does one put on love?  I looked in the dictionary for help on defining love, and this is what I found.  Love: “an intense feeling of deep affection,” now you sure do not have that over a hot dog, or a dress, but you would for your wife/husband, your children, and God. 

I was wondering where a self-centered critter like me could change to a person of an intense feeling of deep affection?  Where is the source of love and so I decided to ask Siri on my I-phone; “What is the meaning of Love” and she replies; "Bob, that is an interesting question."  Not what I was looking for, so I opened the Bible and began to search and found an abundance of Scriptures about love.   It addresses brotherly love, love for Christ, for the Church, for enemies, for family, for friends, and the list was very lengthy.

But then I came to 1John 4:7-12, and I knew I had found the answer to putting on love. “Beloved let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.”  In verse 9, one could say Love sent His only Son into the world so that we might live through Him.  So when this self-centered person invited Love into my heart, Jesus began to change my heart to be more like Love, or God.  Now we are getting somewhere!

 Going back to Colossians 3:14, we are told that “love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”  A sane person yearns for unity, for when there is not harmony we find discord and that creates conflicts and friction.  So God is all about harmony! 

Verse 15 gives this insight, “And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.”  Now before I entered into Christ by faith and the grace of Love/God, I knew times of happiness, but not peace.  But as I began to give more of myself to Christ and allowed Him to live His life in and through me, I began to put on love.  My desires changed, and I longed for harmony, peace, and His word began to reshape a self-centered person.

A prudent individual will apply verse 17, “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”  Nowhere was anyone promised a sinless life, but the power to not allow sin to have control over you, and my hope is that you do as I did, search and find the author of Love.

From the Back Porch,

Bob Rice

Putting on Christ likeness

Colossians 3:12-13

“Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”

I’m still working on a life verse, but the one that has been a light to my path for many years has been Micah 6:8.  “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”  Have you given consideration to this fact; the follower of Christ is always taking off what is not Christ-like and putting on what is Christ-like.  For some of us, we realize that we are a mess and have been chosen by our Creator.  God, who is All-knowing, sees not the disarray of my life, but Christ who indwells me and calls me His beloved and holy one.

So this thought fills my mind, do I have an understanding of a compassionate heart?  From the Scripture, it is obvious a kind heart has these qualities: love, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.  Wikipedia had this to say, “Compassion is the response to the suffering of others that motivates a desire to help them. Compassion motivates people to go out of their way to help the physical, spiritual, or emotional hurts and pains of another.” 

I have little doubt you recall the account of the lawyer trying to test Jesus in Luke 10:25-37. “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How do you read it?” And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” And he said to him, “You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live.”  But the lawyer’s job was not to look for truth and is that not also true today but to find fault, so he asked, who is my neighbor?  I bet you have read this story of the Good Samaritan often if not today is a splendid time to do so.  But Jesus gives a much better answer than the one above, for in the Samaritan we see these qualities: kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.

One of the biggest takeoffs is the fear of forgiveness; it is much easier to help a person in need than to forgive someone who has broken a trust.  The enemy of our soul will do everything possible to keep us from revisiting the debt and offenses Jesus Christ paid for me, the amazing grace that was shown in my forgiveness.  Do you recall Jesus going to Simon’s the Pharisee's house and the sinful woman that came and washed Jesus’ feet with her tears and poured ointment on them?  It is a great read and is found in Luke 7:36-50.  It’s a story of sin against God and forgiveness, told in a word picture one will not forget.  “A moneylender had two debtors.  One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty.  When they could not pay, he canceled the debt of both.  Now which of them will love him more?”  Simon answered,

“The one, I suppose, for whom he canceled the larger debt.”  And he said to him, “You have judged rightly.”

Now go and do likewise or as stated in verse 13, “forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”

From the Back Porch,

Bob Rice

We all showed up needing Love

Colossians 3:5-10

“Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these, the wrath of God is coming. In these, you too once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.”

Put to death what is flesh in you, and I believe the list above is on the spot, but I’ve met several people who will agree those are fleshly, but those are not part of their makeup.  What they are saying is that’s not my version of the flesh, but their version may be having to look good at all times, so you will want to invite them to your next party.  All of us show up on planet earth with flesh, and we wrestle with living independently from the authority of Christ.  I often refer to Bill Gillham, and this was a key concept he often used: “God has no plan to make something beautiful of your life (in Adam).  The plan is to kill it and start over again.”

Buell H. Kazee who wrote, “Faith is the Victory” helped shape my understanding of walking in the Spirit and or in the flesh.  On page 71 in his book, Buell states, “But, as we have said, a deeper life with God makes us more painfully conscious of sin and drives one constantly to Christ in confession, whereupon he constantly receives forgiveness and cleansing.” 

Now there is no magic in becoming a seeker of God, it begins with an honest evaluation of your need for love, and an understanding that God is love.  In that God understands your need for love, He left a love letter we call the Bible to guide us while on planet earth.  I’ve found it helpful to begin as a newcomer to faith in Christ in the book of John.  I’ve also found it is useful not to try to read chapter and verse but to stop and ponder on what is said and ask questions.

Neither you nor I have ever lived the Christian life in our own ability.  Only one person has ever done that, and that is Christ.  So we need Christ to do it all for us, and as we grow in Christ, that is called sanctification.  It is a process that will take the rest of this life, so listen to this quote from page 71-72 of “Faith is the Victory.”  “Sanctification, therefore, must be a process of growth in Christ-likeness, which has the effect of making us more conscious of our own sin, more conscious of His righteousness and of the fact that our hope lies in His judgment on the Cross for us.  This exalts Christ and humbles us; the other position exalts us and blinds us to our sin.  After all, did not the Holy Spirit come to convict of sin, of righteousness, and of judgment?

The unregenerate man, without any provocation on the part of the Holy Spirit of the gospel, is, in a sense, unconscious of his sins.  True, in a moral sense he is conscious of his misdeeds and is mentally aware of his course, but as to their larger moral and spiritual involvement, his is unconscious of his sins.  If you challenge his life, he will immediately begin to make out a case for himself and build up for himself quite a good character.”

Let me close with a word many will not receive, but that does not change its truth: all of us show up on planet earth with a dead spirit, in that we came from Adam.  We all showed up needing love, and we developed patterns to get our needs met, we call that flesh.  God made a provision in Christ to kill the old you and begin a fresh with a new spirit of Christ.  So there are only two kinds of people walking on planet earth, regenerated in Christ or unregenerate with a need that is only found in Christ.

If you are in Christ, quit acting as if you're perfect, you’re much closer to a mess, but you know the hope and the peace you have in your relationship with Christ Jesus.

From the Back Porch,

Bob Rice

A life with Christ

 Colossians 3:1-4

“If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.”

If you have risen with Christ, many of us have no understanding what took place when we, by faith asked Jesus Christ into our lives?  So let’s do what Jesus did; Father guide us into your truth, teach us through your Word and give us understanding, and we ask all of this in the authority of our Lord, Amen.

We must begin with our new life in Christ, and how one enters into that life, and we find the answer in Romans 10:9. “If you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.”  Without that first step all that follows is of no value to you, so stop reading till you are without any doubt that you have entered into a relationship with the living Christ.

In the letter to the church at Galatia, the apostle Paul gives this insight to being raised with Christ, found in chapter 2, verse 20.  “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”  Now words mean things, and yet we know that many have put a spin on words to make them say what they desire.  So let’s define the word “Crucified” my version, someone died!  Now let’s examine, “the punishment of Roman crucifixion was chiefly inflicted on slaves and the worst kind of criminals. Crucifixion was considered a most shameful and disgraceful way to die and condemned Roman citizens were usually exempt from crucifixion. The manner and process of crucifixion were that the criminal after sentence had been pronounced carried his cross to the place of execution, which was outside the city. The practice of scourging appears to have formed a part of this, as with of other capital punishments among the Romans. The Romans used a whip for scourging called a flagrum, which consisted of small pieces of bone and metal attached to a number of leather strands. The skin of the back was ripped to the bone from scourging. The criminal was next stripped of his clothes and nailed or bound to the cross.”  Bill Gillham often would say this is key – “It is from the perspective of who you are “in Christ” that you understand your true identity and realize that Christ is your life.” 

If, and there has never been a bigger “If”; “If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.”

From the Back Porch,

Bob Rice